Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Government Probably Won't Even Consider My Having Googled "what metal is wonder woman's chestplate" At All

The government was definitely watching me. Definitely.

It was because of the things I googled. But what sucked was they were just such interesting things to me. I didn't mean to insinuate that I was a terrorist bomber when I searched for "easy to make high explosives," and then "pentaerythritol tetranitrate," and then for "how to make pentaerythritol tetranitrate at home."

It only came to me about halfway through the article, when the author was saying to slowly add pentaerythritol to the nitric acid whilst stirring. That this was a bad idea to be reading, I mean.

And then when I started looking up how to detonate plastic explosives, that also wasn't very wise. Especially when I clicked on mercury fulminate. And definitely when I started reading about how to make it.

Probably it didn't help my case when I started searching for "how to keep the government from spying on me" or "secure google searches." And then "keep NSA from looking at your google searches" was just stupid. I mean, if someone mentions the NSA, who's gonna be more interested than the NSA, right? You know?

The real clincher, though--the really stupid thing for me to have googled--was "best way to suicide bomb." Not only was that a poor decision governmental-monitoring-wise, but it was just a dumb search. I should have considered "most deaths in a suicide bombing" or "worst suicide bombings." Those are what got results.

And then "sneaking things onto airplanes." Boy. That was just... that was just not smart at all. That one was a really bad decision. And so was "detonator cap with mercury fulminate." And "amount of PETN needed to destroy an airplane." Especially because right after that, I searched "capacity of a human rectum."

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